I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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