Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I think my vagina is haunted
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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