My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
