I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize