y did u give ur computer a hand job?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.