My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.