if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.