There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?