I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
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Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.