Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
