I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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