My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
