he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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