Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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