i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
