woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize