We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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