Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
PANTIES FOUND
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