he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize