we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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