I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is Oprah even human
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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