Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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