I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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