It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
