Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
