lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
