Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
