He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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