you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize