Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
