I can text with my tongue
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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