"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize