Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
