I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
