we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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