Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
