i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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