Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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