yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
