oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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