on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
