We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
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