Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
