let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
BRING THE BAGELS
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
