You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
