A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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