tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize