Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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