I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Are my feet made of real feet?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
