i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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