i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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