i would punch a child for taco bell
Little spoons don't ask big questions
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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