So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
