Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
