i jhust puked up my retainher.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
