Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
