Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
