Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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